Roll On: Grown up peeps

Jul 6, 2016

I don't have any urge to wish raya this time. I wonder why though. I asked nadia and she does not want to do it either. She made it sound like "of course not, why should I?"

I think some times before, I do give personal whatsapp or text. I do wish raya to some significant whatsapp group. In high school, we give card. It was a pleasant experience.

We are celebrating a new kind of raya this year. I can't really remember how we do it last year but some very significant things had happen and now we end up doing raya a different way than we used too. With different I mean on our own. In manjung. Nothing to expect on. It may as well be a normal day.

It's sad, I suppose, sad that I can't actually remember how we spend raya last year. We went to Tioman Island that time, that I remember. Tioman was awesome!!!

When wan and mak tok have passed away, the kampung house was literally dying. It save us a few raya but it was slipping away and this year, it is gone. For good. The house died. It surely don't resolve as a purpose for once a year gathering.

When mak died, and since we don't really have a better bonding with mom side of the family, we have distanced. It has become a compulsory once a year visit. Each year becoming shorter than before. We have fond childhood memories and having this slipping away as well, it is rather, hurting, I suppose.

Is this the meaning of growing up?

Walid don't have anyone anymore except for us and her sisters.

Mak ngah as well. Just us, her siblings and her daughter.

Acu got a new life now as a mom and it is quite a turn of life.

I think this is what hurts the most. But in all its glorious and beautiful way. We are simply growing up and in doing so, we need to let things go to allow new ones to come. To fit in to our newly grown up peeps life.

It hurts for some, like me. All those previous life I had has been joyous.

The future however, is everything uncertain. Scary.

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