I Waste Away March

Mar 30, 2019

That was it. I wasted away my young and promising March and thus I'll end up getting old being lifeless. 


I knew I wanted less thing to do in March because the targets in February seems too overwhelming. Thank god for that or you guys would feel like I am a complete loser now. 


Anyway, back to my March's target.

Let's recap -

  1. Read two books
  2. Improve blog familiarity among other bloggers aka get to know more bloggers
  3. Post about that cooking thingy
  4. Try to walk more
  5. Eat less heavy dinner

Buckle up, this is one long, unnecessary story but I'm venting out. It's not really venting cause I'm not actually mad, I'm just so overwhelmed and so tired and now I can finally (semi) relax, I am so venting out.

I was supposed to have a penempatan semula when I got my license. It was scheduled on Monday last week. Amidst all the goodbye feasts, nervousness on going to a new place, packing stuff yada yada - I got the same hospital back. That means, I'm stuck here for another two years.I'm not even sure how to  react at that.

However, right from the start, I was ready to move out. Even if I got the same hospital back. I wanted to live somewhere else - a fresh start and stuff. Now, the packing and unpacking adventure starts. If you know me, I hate this kind of thing. Packing only to unpack? Pfft. Sign me out. But of course, there is no way out.

Since I'm still staying at the same hospital, it will be a waste to move out in the middle of the month so I'm stuck to live in a place where most things were packed and living bare for another week. Some of my stuff was already packed and were now in the car. So I have also live for a whole week with all kind of stuff in my car like some kind of hobo in a car. Not only that, I start to officially rent the new place on Monday. It was such a big pain in the ass to juggle working, tired from working and moving out. 

That was a horrendous two weeks. 

I lost Norwegian Wood for a good two week only to discover it in my car. 

My Mi band is out of battery and it has been a week but I still didn't found the charger. 

My favorite blouse got a big hole burned out when I first start to iron in my new place. '

I got so sleepy on Wednesday and Thursday at work from the lack of sleep and got real quiet on Thursday that my friends notice it. I only tell them it was because I'm sleepy and it is too hot. '

IT IS TOO HOT. The air-conditioner in our pharmacy is still down.

I got some acne breakouts and when one gets better, a new one pops out. IT WAS FRUSTRATING.

I was stress eating a lot.

With all of these happening, do you think I care about doing my goals? 

But that does not stop me from falling in love with Haruki Murakami's work. He is amazing! Oh ya, both books for my March reads are from him. I'm halfway through Norwegian Woods and I have also started reading Kafka on The Shore's ebook. I love these two so much. I decided to read these two first because Namjoom has suggested it.


Since my sister's phone got broken, I leave my laptop at home so that she wouldn't die out of boredom (our home PC was broken). I was going to buy some tablet-ish that will be easier for me to carry around but is still big enough so that I can do my blogging and watch Netflix. That left us with no laptop for the entire month. That is why there is still no update about my cooking thingy and the blogging around that I'm planning to do so that I know more blogs.

Funnily, I was looking out on my diet plan really well at the beginning of the month until I started to feel a bit bummed, y'know, the usual - need to continue my FRP life in the same hospital and all the trouble of needing to move out. I did a lot of stress eating.

I'm just not able to focus on anything until I finished my moving out so no trips planning too.

That zumba thing? With my room, all messed up and tiredness from lack of sleep and of these things happening? No.

But there are some good things I want to highlight.

1. We were staying at a cheap hotel in Shah Alam so that we don't have to go out early morning to lapor diri at JKNS. There is a thailand/japanese restaurant near called Madam Salma so we went there for dinner. It was so good and affordable. I haven't eaten good food for a really long time.

2. I did bought a tablet but it is somewhat a 2 in 1 tablet/lapto.  Basically it is small like a notebook but the tablet part is detachable. It is such a good buy. I'll make a post reviewing it.

3. I forgot that I actually own a bigger screen smartphone which means reading e-book is a whole lot comfortable. I snuck some reading when things get sluggish at work!


5. I didn't meet my old friends but I did went out to eat with my colleagues for a few times which is refreshing.

6. I just tried the Shinjuku bake from Secret Recipe. IT SO SO GOOD.

7. I don't think I will ever like korean fried chicken. It is among "good things" because I like discovering new things about myself.

8. BTS new album will be coming out soon and the trailer, Persona, is awesome! The beats was quite chill but I was more attracted to the lyrics. I can't wait for the whole album!

9. The best thing of all, as off this very moment, I finally move out and arrange everything nicely so that it is appropriate for a living mess called Afifah.

But I just notice that I lost my scrunchies and my favourite singlet.

Well, you win some and lost some.

p/s - I'll do April's goal in a separate post as I need to also do my quarterly review of my New Year resolution.

February Wrapped (so bad) and March To Do (hopefully)

Mar 3, 2019

February has been a disaster.

Hello folks. It is a lovely afternoon on the 3rd of March. How wonderful. The passage of time that stops for no one with me wasting out my youth and vigor. Such an interesting sentiment. Much wow.


Let's go through my February to do and put more BTS related and appropriate gif to truly portrayed how messed up everything is.

Read Lullabies and 30 Hari Mencari Tuhan (I know I've said no more self-help books but I've bought it already ffs)

Omg Lullabies is so boring and I'm just not cut out for Hilal Asyraf's writing style. 

The funny thing is, I knew I've read some of Lullabies but I don't have any memory that I actually finished reading it! Lullabies was just so hopelessly heartbroken, not poetic enough (at least for me) and just so not for me that I just forgot I actually have finished it. How is that even possible? But I still re-read the whole thing. 

For 30 Hari Mencari Tuhan, I just finish reading it like just before I started to write this post. It is just not my kind of self-help book. I know I can only tolerate certain style of self-help book but trying to finish this in one month is such a hard task for me. The points in the book are like any regular dakwah styled self-help but the way it was arranged to be like one chapter per day and how kind the tone used is good and refreshing (I always feel that the sentap style is too exaggerated). Plus, the inclusion of many Quran sentences to justify chapter just made it so appropriately evidenced. But still, it was boring? That sounded so wrong. 

Study and publish discussion for five poems (on @afifahwrites) + Published all the poems that are left from January (on @afifahwrites)

I am three poems behind and it was because I put off everything until the last week of February. \ I'm planning to finishes the three poems left and uninstall Instagram because I'm going into an Instagram detox in March y'all. 

Check out my poetry discussion at my Instagram highlights at @afifahwrites. I even did one from Robert Frost (that guy who wrote Roads Not Taken in our high school literary text, remember him?)

Plan an itinerary to Singapore

I always told myself that "I need to check what I planned for February instead of lazying around" and then come to a conclusion "don't worry, I remember everything" - I don't. I have completely forgotten about this one. I'm not even sure where my itinerary notebook is.

Have 10 days of more than 5k steps + Track weekdays calorie


Have 10 days calories deficit (not including fasting days)

I'm pretty sure that my calorie intake is like all over at least every other day

Fast for three days
At least this is done although I got my period at 6.30pm for the last day. To be honest, I knew my period is nearing but I wanted to tick this one off so bad. I only got my dinner at 7pm so like, puasa lah tu.

Choose a yoga/stretches routine for de-stressing after work

To choose one, I need to try it first and see if I like it. So the problem was that I thought I need to follow a certain set of yoga from any yoga Youtube videos because I thought that is how yoga should work - do a certain set. But then keeping up with the set is exhausting since I am the most not flexible person and even though it states the "for a beginner" - it was so hard to keep up. So I  just find a list of movement to do and just slowly go through it one by one. Here is the list - afifah yoga thing.

he is disturbingly flexible

February feelings - try to write and publish (on @afifahwrites) three poems about nostalgic feelings.

It was great to find a certain emotion and feeling within me and try to channel it out. But I notice that my flow is so not flowing. I'm not sure why. I know I didn't write much now but I used to have times I didn't write for a long period but I have never felt out of flow. You guys can check out my poems in my Instagram account @afifahwrites.

Keep track of daily spending habit
Apparently, even though I'm quite responsible about spending, I notice that I have a few spending commitment which is quite a sum of money. Plus I like food and treating food for others so there was where my money went. I need to learn to save money because my job now is a contract basis. I might be jobless in a little less than 2 year. Yay future.

Blog - write around the theme of "being free and not let anybody affect you" and my cooking for one for one week thing.

I do wrote two post but I change the cooking one with my lippies collection. One of the reasons why everything is messed up is because I am everywhere. I plan to focus on my monthly goals during the weekend but I'm almost always somewhere or some chores to do every weekend so that means stocking up food will most likely end up spoiling it. So I post about my lippies instead. I just did a week of grocery shopping for cooking last Thursday so I will come up with part two of that cooking thingy this month. 

Hangout with wani? That seems interesting.

Like I say before, my weekends was busy so I don't have time to spend with my friends.

Some things that I have not planned but I did and I just want to share it here

We went to visit my baby brother at his school and it was a simple hanging out and eating food. We brought him out and spend a night there at a cozy homestay. There was a paddy field right beside us. So that one weekend out. 

There is this one weekend that I wanted to bake cookies and went to a river but it all went south when my aunt got hospitalized for unstable angina. She is fine, nothing serious, so I thought. She was only at our house because she loves visiting us and she always stays for a few days.

Much to our surprise, the next week, my uncle (the husband of the said aunt) also got rush to Emergency for being unconscious. He was having a really high blood pressure but it wasn't too serious and thus not warded. At the very same day, his grandson, broke his arm while playing with his friend. The poor boy need to go into surgery to put some wire to align the bone. The week got even more complicated when my aunt get hospitalized again. We are now waiting for a check-up at HKL to see if she has any more health problems. Thank god she was at home this time. At least her children are close. So we went to spend the weekend there.

I know these sound a bit gloomy and drama filled but it was honestly a good weekend. We splurged on Mc Donald for breakfast on Saturday and got happy meal's toy for the kid with the broken arm (he was so stressed out during his hospital stay because he can't get off his bed unless if he need to use the bathroom). My aunt makes curry noodles on Sunday (yup, the very same aunt that got hospitalized twice in the span of one week). 

I also got to meet my cousin newborn daughter. I think she is like three or four months old now but god she has grown out so much from the last time I saw her. My baby cousin still favour my sister over me (yes, I have a cousin who is still a baby, a two year old actually, but I'm still calling him a baby) and my other cousin's 2 years old have now learned to say "tak boleh" to practically everything, or probably just me.

I also watched Back to The Future - part one and part two. It was good especially since it is one of the pioneer movies in time travelling and sci fi in general. But I just don't feel like I need to watch the last one. It is basically time travelling. I do appreciate how the Doc explain stuff and making all thing sounds legit.

I also finished watching Bad Genius (I started watching this last Eid lol) and The Age of Adaline (I almost forgot that I have watched half of this). Bad Genius was lengthy but the ending was good. The Age of Adaline should have more details on Ellis and Adeline love story plus it was something seeing Blake Lively and Harrison Ford in the same movie. 

I also watched two Korean movies - Old Boy (so traumatizing) and Lucid Dream (good storyline but the lucid dreaming part is just wrong and unrealistic). Oh ya, I watched Ponyo too! Ghibli Studios never fails me. I did a few night shifts so it was either watching Netflix or reading. But my "to be read" are so boring and I can't afford making myself sleepier so Netflix it is. Funnily, Netflix movie is only like one hour and a half but I still hope they have fast forward option cause I have limited attention span but I a people of culture. I need to be appropriately movie cultured.

Oh ya, I did a Twitter free February and decided that I love spitting nonsense on Twitter so I'm back at it.

Wow. There are so many things happened during February.


So for March, we are taking it a step back by making 6 things only.

  1. We are reading fiction  - Norwegian Wood (my first Haruki Murakami's) and I'm still looking another fiction book. At first, I want to read The Nutcracker Men (a fiction book about World War One) and I am down three chapters when I decided that I'm not spending March with this fella. I want to be truly involved in a storyline which usually means some Young Adult's novel. Do suggest one for me!
  2. Improve my blog familiarity among bloggers - I have 496 followers now. I don't really care about it but it is something to be 4 followers ways to 500. So I'm focusing this month to learn about more bloggers and just add more blogs to my reading list. This usually means more blog walking and following and if you guys got Twitter, I'll be following that too. I still need some kind target so let's do this until I got 500 followers.
  3. Write one post about my cooking thingy and one post about how life has been being over 25 years old.
  4. Since I'm too lazy to go out and get that 10k steps - we will be doing zumba. I'm not putting any target except for trying to do it as much as possible
  5. Write an itinary to hatyai that includes krabi and to Singapore.
  6. To skip heavy dinner every other day - I need to take my diet seriously.

seokjin slim waist and broad shoulder = dorito is a good motivation

I took almost two hours writing this. OMG. 

I need dinner.

ps: If anyone got annoyed with the amount of BTS memes/gif, my goal has been achieved. If anyone is actually entertained by it, good, my goal has been achieved as well. I like to think I'm so cunning this way.

My Lippies Collection (why on earth i have this much for?)

Mar 2, 2019

from left to right as according to the following pictures as well as how I'll be numbering the review. yeah, the lippies colour doesn't really varies from one another.

This post was initially supposed to be my second part of that cooking thingy (which was supposed to be published in February but moving on). However, I don't have enough material since I don't cook much (it such a hassle since there are plenty of off days which means I go home which means if I buys groceries it will take such a long time to finish which means it will simply go bad and I still have some sweet potato in the fridge ffs)

So instead of that, I'll be writing about my lippies since it is amazing how I have all of these when I put on make-up about five times per month and I only tried so much to at least put a lippy for about once or twice per week.

I was actually just going to simply explain how the colour looks and that is just stupid. I'm doing a lippy review. I need to put pictures lah kan. So now I need to like put on a scarf and put on a lippy and snap a picture and then wipe it off (where is my makeup remover?) and repeat for all seven of it.

1. OMG! Powder Matte Lip Color (code 05 Rosewood) by Silkygirl

This is my favourite kinda nude coloured lipstick. I'm not sure why but nude colour never really works out for me. It either looked too red to be nude or just too pale or maybe because I have a slightly darker lips. But this one is just so nice with hint of rosy. Apparently, I just don't like too nude of a colour as it does looked too "pop out" with it pale-ish tint. But this colour looked so natural and most importantly, my lips doesn't looked sick.

2. Doll Lip Snow Lip Cushion (code coral) by Sendayu Tinggi

I followed Yatie's Instagram cause I loved how she made Sendayu Tinggi looked so classy and I just have to try this one. I wanted to try how the cushion applicator feels which she made it looked so good and it is actually that good. I choose a slightly pinkish orangey colour cause I never buys this kind of colour and I like it. It wasn't drying my lips and so smooth too. It is somewhat  between a lip cream and a lip gloss. 

3. Mlbb Lip Tint (code 04 nude) by Silkygirl

I love this lip tint so much! First of all, it's a lip tint which means the application is simply this smooth gliding and it looks like I don't really put anything. But it have a bitter taste. It was so weird to lick your lip and taste this metallicish thing. The colour is so good so I'm still buying a new one when this runs out.

4. Matte Fever! Lipstick Balm (code 04 siren) by Silkygirl

I bought this years ago for my final year faculty dinner. I wanted a really good flaming red colour. It was a really pleasant memory actually. Buying this I mean. I was fooling around with my friend trying few raging red colours because I wanted a specific red hue which is this one. Not too orangey, just as red and a little bit dark. Every girl need one flaming red lipstick.

5. Lingerie Matte Lipgloss (code 11) by Kiss Beauty

I bought this last Eid, I guess? There is an Eid's bazaar held here and this cosmetic shop was selling their lippies for like RM1, or was it RM2? - the point is, it is really cheap. I know the quality will be bad and I'm not even sure if this is an original product (I've never heard of this brand too lol) but I thought for that cheap price, I can buy one  lip matte in nude colour and just see how it looks. I've never wore a nude lip cream (only swatch it on my hand and never found any that I like). I hate it. It looked so pale and feels so dry. I only use it as a cream eyeshadow instead. It gave a light pinkish colour which looks great as eyeshadow.

6. Matte Junkie Lip Cream (code 05 vixen) by Silkygirl

My cousin gave this to me. The lip cream texture is only a little bit dry and won't really bother much if you let your lips soften by applying lip balm beforehand. It doesn't have the lip gloss feels like the one by Sendayu Tinggi. The colour is beautiful but it wasn't the right shade of red that I like. I usually wore this to give an ombre look because lip cream works better to give that ombre look than a lipstick.

7. Aloe Vera 99 Lipstick by Peinfen

It a knock out fake version of Nature Republic. It was RM5? Anyway, my lips feels so dry and I was desperate (this is the closest shop near my house). I though the aloe vera will helps. It does not. It does feels like glossy and moisturing but it doesn't really help my lips. If you don't have any dry lips problem. this will give you that smooth glossy feels but if you do have dry lips, you can still feel that dryness. However, I didn't know it turns red when you apply it so yay. It's like lip balm with cool red colour instead of that faint pink that some lipbalm gaves out. I don't like lip gloss but this gave just the right hint of glossy and I usually swipe some of my cheek and it gave this glowing, like a really subtle highlighter, which looks so natural. Anyway, back to my desperate search for lip balm but ends up with this, since my lips were still annoyingly dry, I still put on decent clothes and went to the mall and get two lip balms (one for my handbag and one for my work bag).

why the heck he got such full lips?? was this post simply an excuse for me to put picture of his full lips?

That's it. These are some drugstore products only. I don't think I'll ever buy anything pricey cause

1. I don't wear makeup regularly and
2. I like it when water and good amount of scrubbing could easily wipe off the stain.

Reapplying it is a bit inconvenience but to be honest, I hardly reapply it pon.

Now that I think of it, I really just need three lippies - lip balm/lip tint in red (these lip balm/lip tint formula will give a more subtle look), some good natural nudish colour (my go to would be the OMG! Powder Matte Lip Color) and one lip cream with my that specific red tone that I like (something like Doll Lip Snow Lip Cushion but with code siren of Matte Junkie Lip Cream).

Out of all lippies out there, I think lipstick would be my favourite. Or probably a good lip cream. What about you?