Storytime : Harmless Flirtation

Mar 26, 2016

Short Story : Harmless Flirtation

"Hey, may I help you"
"Yes, I think my battery port is damaged"
"What made you said that?"
"I charged it overnight with nothing charged. i tried other battery and my phone worked"
"Oh, excellent diagnosis"

A smile crept on her face on the choice of word. He smiled as if feeling victorious for how smooth he is. It is that smug smile with hint of cheekiness. She isn't sure if he is playing game or actually mean it.

Well, aren't this fun?

She does actually try to do some check up on her phone to help her understand the problem. It's comforting somehow though she know that she can't actually fix it. Not to mention she might be able to prevent from being lied to.

"Thank you, I've tried my best"

This time the smile changes. It's those genuine smile as if you have read a pleasant joke. Quite surprisingly, it comes with a pleasant feeling, almost warm. It is not those plastic smile on salesperson that makes you wonder if it is only their game face on attending customers.

"So, are you from around here?"

She was surprised by the question. Bit straight forward and a lot of out of the blue doesn't it. Never actually peoples at this kind of busy place took times to mingle. It is and she realize it. She simply assume it to be "those guys". Though he asked it quite casually like it is not that personal. That kinda bothers her how he it make it seems normal-ish. He then tried to charge the phone using the readily available charger port on the counter. doing some testing.

"I would tell you but I don't think it matter in our business now"
"Well, I might have this fixed for free for some chat"
"What an offer, but no thanks. you see, I'm this kind of girl who lives in this scary KL that get bit overreact that maybe if I tell simple details about myself, I will end up getting chopped for kidneys. I'm kinda attached to my kidneys"

The guy laugh to her surprise. He seemed to be satisfied with his check-up and yelled for his coworker to have the phone done something that she didn't bother to know. She was bit carefree that way.

But something about his laugh has made her smile back quite fondly. Happiness contagious won't everyone agree. Yet, she make a point on herself not to make any eye contact.

"Sarcasm. I can work with that", she tilt her head slightly and studies his face. What is with this fella?

"How is my phone going on"
"It can be fix. Nothing to much. It can be fixed in matter of half an hour since we actually have all the spare part. You're lucky you know. We don't usually keep it"
"How much will it cost?"
"and you getting luckier by the day cause I am treating you for that"
"and why is that I deserve such luck?"
"because you actually told me you live in KL, I kinda keep my word but don't worry, your kidney is safe"

She roll her eyes but can't help to smile. There is a high stool in front of the counter where the guy is standing behind it. She took a seat seeing no point to wander around while waiting for her phone to be fix. She decide that he is not a harm alarm. Her gut tell her so. Quite rarely her gut decides such way. The guy is kind of fun? That is a better word for it. A chat is not much of a trouble.

"I'm from perak"
"I'm sorry?"
"I'm not from KL, though I live here now. I'm from perak"
"Oh, what a coincidence, I love perak"
"I bet you do"

The guy was now sitting on the stool also. Even on sitting he is still taller than her. Quietly, it is a good fact. a tall guy was her go to. Well, not that she is that interested.

"I really do, my mom was born there"
"So, you're from Perak also?"
"Nope, I am from this scary KL that with some luck, if I manege to get bit more information on peoples I get the chance to sell kidneys"
"Sarcasm, i can work with that"

He giggles. For heavan sake! The guy giggles. She thought it is cute and carelessly beautiful and little that she know, she had decided that she likes it.

Suddenly, her other phone rang with some loud catchy but a bit pretentious for a ringtone. She mouthed an apology which he reply with a smile. Too much good smiles in one day to handle with to be frank. She don't really understand but she always mouthed an apology if she was talking to anyone when a phone call interrupt. Even to a total stranger like this guy now. She then pick it up with a warm and sweet "hello" that kind of make people feel bit relieved as if they were always welcomed for a call. Or maybe because it is a special someone? That is some problem now doesn't it.

"I'm at that shop you tell me. it's going to be for a short while so i'm just waiting...yes...spectacles?..white skinned?..nope, this is not your's being fixed though so no problem're telling me he is here? come?..he asked for me?..haha..don't go do stupid gossip tell him i'm here?..seriously??..ahah, he is bound to walk here if he is going out of the mall so lets pray he wont look for me now..."

She chuckles slowly but looks very much taken by with it. The guy look at her and gestured the back door. He then was lost behind the door which lead to other room. Must be the storage room or anything. After a while he come back to the front with two can of soda. She has now hung up the phone and kept it in her sling bag.

"So, a scandalicious event is coming to my shop? I thought I have a chance."

She chuckles again and took the soda without even bothered to ask for permission. Her chuckles is a slow voice but with joyous energy in it. As if she is having so much fun. As if she is living in the moment of the laugh.

"Are you always this flirty with your customer?"
"First of all I would need to tend customers more often for that. It's your lucky day that I am here. But the truth is, I actually saw when you first walked in before. Your friend was pointing at my shop and you were looking straight into my view. I think she tell you something funny that you chuckles. It took my attention. Then you come with a smile and confidence look, plus a good chat. I just can't help myself"

She was surprised by the honest to god answer. It was not those cliche love at first sight which she is very against of. Nor some cheesy pickup lines but this is an intelligence. or sarcasm. Well, she can work with both. Again he said it out like no nonsense kind of guy with such casualness. Like the word was an easy truth to be said out loud. No nonsense. She can work with this. .

"Why is that you didn't meet customers often?"
"I used too but not much now. Not after I opened my new branch. It is hectic. I kind of doing the behind the scene job now, to manage both shops. I got my staff to look over my shops. Just that this shop manager was having an emergency leave so I thought I can fill in since it is weekend. they need the help."
"Wait, what?? You're the boss?"
"You don't know? I thought it is clear"
"How I am suppose to be clear..."

He cut her by tapping on the glass counter which then she looks down to. a business permit. She kept on glancing it every now and then but don't really pay much attention. Kind to think of it, she always notice her surrounding and failing to notice this was bit not like her. It was his picture. crystal clear. She looks back at him, instead of showing smug face he was having this confused look.

"Are you always this ignorant to your surrounding"
"In matter of fact, I was always the one who says those lines to my friends. It's just thatIi was being bit attracted to this guy you know. Maybe that moment is an exception for being teensy bit of ignorance."
"Valid argument", she snorts.
"Thanks for the soda"

She pop open her soda can and drink it slowly. Savouring the carbonate sensation. She likes it. he didn't think he notice that her favourite drinks is soda but it's good that he thought to offer this. It is a common like able drink to anyone but she chooses it as her favourite.

"Why are you living here? Do you worked here?
"Do I look that old? I'm a student! in UKM"

She put out her student card hanging on her neck for him to look. He was reading something that made him look surprised. Now that is quite a face expression. She likes it that she can surprise him.

"You're a pharmacy student?"
"Yes I am, final year"
"That makes you what? 23?"
"Sharp mind. I'm impressed. True"
"I have a cousin on final year also, he is also 23 years old."
"How about you?"
"What about me?"
"Your age silly!"
"and you own two freaking shop????"
"I'm a school dropout, I've been struggling for this moment for quite sometime and my parent has been supportive"

a short and concise answer.

a man with no nonsense.

She is now impressed. not only by his success but also by his courage. The courage to venture on nothingness. Something she is missing. That she can't find herself to work on too. But she will, she knew it. Maybe late but later is better than never.

Courage is beautiful for her, it is the utmost statement on believing yourself. Like believing you're bound to fall off many many times on learning to play roller skate. Maybe tore a good jeans in the process but you keep on doing it because one day you will learn the courage to trust the wheels to took you away. That you will eventually believe yourself not to scare of the fall but eager for the fluid motion and you will look damn cool rocking it.

"I respect that"

He was now looking very confused for a while and then laugh it away when she saw her earnest smile. Amazed by her choice of word. Respect is earned and he get that from her. Though most people might thought he was bragging, he really is not. He always don't see the blurred line of bragging and simply telling a story.

It is impressive. He knows it. Though he really don't think he deserve such credit. It was a long hardwork and he is not born genius. He simply have good support and stupid confidence that he can get it through. He has this stupid effort of asking and learning from others which don't even know him that well but apparently pleased with his protruding approach. He is that stupid to always coaxed his parent that he can do it but he needed time and he need to learn first. Because one thing he knows for sure he have this stupid courage that allow him to trust himself so much. he did it.

"and i like you"

She chuckles again for the most no nonsense face he is making saying such words. This must be the stupidest form of confessional session between two hardly not supposed to be that stupid to actually pull out such stunt.


She stop laughing and turn her head. another guy looking sharp with button down and jeans. Her face brighten with another different smile. He can't really put it but he thought this new guy must be something to deserve his own kind of smile.

"Faiz! they tell me you was here"
"I'm glad they did. So nice to meet you, what are you doing here?"
"Getting my phone fixed, what about you?"
"I am looking for a new console, I thought to give it to my brother for his birthday"
"Khairi birthday is coming?"
"Yeah, you know what, we should celebrate it together. I could pick you up"
"of course I will, just text me the details"

He was looking rather not happy. It's look like his newly found attraction was attracted to this guy. He shouldn't feel so disappointed though. How long they have met? like 15 minutes? Come on, be realistic. This is planet earth. this faiz guy was looking mostly pleased with Fatin. Fatin was also reciprocating. Fatin huh?

"Why you choose this shop, any recommendation?"
"Oh my, I almost forgot. I'm sorry. let me introduce you. This is faiz, the sappiest guy that I've known since primary school. We have only met again this year since his brother started studying in UKM. his brother is my junior"

He was startled on how she casually introduce Faiz to him. Like they have something more. He took Faiz hand and shakes it firmly. Not that he wanting to give a bold impression to Faiz but more like because happiness flooded him that he still have his chance.

"I'm Faiz and you are?"
"Zulfahmi, Just call me Zul"
"Is this your shop"
"Yes, it is"

The back door opened and the guy Zul passes Fatin phone come out carrying Fatin phone. He give it to Zul and simply said "done" and went back in. Zul then realize in that small time Faiz was having a small talk with Fatin that he can't understand. Not that he is eavesdropping. He just stand there letting them having their moment before Faiz bid her goodbye and making her promise him not to bailed the party.

"So, Mr. Scandalicious?"
"We have our moments"
"Your phone is done"

Zul was testing with the charger yet again to prove it to her. She was satisfied and took back her phone. She begin to dis amble her other phone and took out the simcard to put it into the newly repaired phone.

"So Zul," it was a joy to hear his name on her lips.
"Yes Fatin" even more joyful to speak out her name on his lips.
"How much does this really cost?"
"I told you, it's free"
"I can't accept that!"
"You have to learn to"
"Oh really now?"

She didn't like to reject kindness but she don't really know him to accept such random kindness. Well, she didn't think it will affect him that much. He does own two shop.

"You're making me uncomfortable"
"well too bad, i kinda like you and you have given me such a pleasant evening. It doesn't cost much at all"
"It's good to know my service on giving a pleasant evening experience has now been acknowledge but I don't planned to actually charge it"
"I think you should start now. it's a good business, I have two shops, you can trust my expert advice"
"Wuuuu, expert"

She is getting annoyed and troubled . She really does want to pay.

"What if I continue to give this pleasant evening experience over a morning coffee"
"A girl asking me out?"
"na-ah, i'm promoting my service to a business expert. Please don't misunderstand"

She is smirking. He is giddy.

"I would love to go out for a coffee with you Fatin"

Roll on : Sign and symptom

Mar 22, 2016

When i have fever,

I'll have runny nose.
Stucked and yeah stuffed nose.
Sometime sneezing few times in a row which sounded bad. It's not that bad really.

Awful cough that I can't even tolerate water, i would try to get something to numb my throat.
I hate this part the most.
It get me restless, annoyed all day long
Gladly the other day the doctor gave me prednisone, i took one tablet only and it worked like a charm. Been using it since.
When i was small, it would worsen that i lost my voice for a good two days.

Sometime the fever game was so good that i'll be shivering for the night. It's not that cold or anything, i'll be shivering like crazy.

I have asthma that will cause bronchospam. Not too bad but still, well, suffering. I can't breathe properly and practically panting even though i was laying down. It just make me cough more. I took liquid salbutamol for this. Which cause trembling. Oh well. At least i can sleep now.

When these symptom calm down, which usually only a day or two, i'll have this lethargy. I can't move around much but not that awful to be sleeping all day long. Sometime i'll have difficulty breathing if i move too much. I'll walk slowly and talk slowly. I'll sweat a lot too. It's just me being so unproductive.

Just like today.

At least i've updated my blog.

Do some chores. I can't sleep btw. I literally force myself to sleep or else i won't heal quickly.

The thing is, i despise being sick but i know it cleanse my sins. If i be gratitude. It didn't sound quite right but you know what i mean. I should really worked on being grateful for sickness. I don't whine but I still have this distaste feeling. It makes me feel guilty. So lets this be a reminder to be grateful in sickness. Even more grateful at being healthy. That is the point of this post really. I want to remember this clearly sign and symptomso that i'll appreciate health more.

The gift of health is amazing.


escape to fraser. this may actually the causes that lead to my fever. 

The Effect of Shared Decision Making on Medication Adherence, Treatment Satisfaction and Glycaemic Control of Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus Patients in 
Pusat Perubatan Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia


That is my research project tittle if you still didn't get it. I thought it would be nice to share the bits and pieces so maybe someone might actually benefit from it or maybe I simply give myself the chance to re-read this in like 20 years time so that i can reminiscence. I'm a sap that way.

Btw, this post might be tad too late for current batch. Sorry?

First of all, in UKM pharmacy programme, you kind of divided into two category; doing survey or lab work. A few student will be assigned to a lecturer/supervisor. You can practically guess what you're going to do if you already know your supervisor especially of those doing labwork since it will be related to your supervisor forte. I'm doing survey, but I can might manage to tell something about lab work since I like to chat with my friend about what they do. We even manage to do some discussion though for all its worth, it is a really basic kind of discussion.

Survey itself maybe of clinical based or pharmacy practice based. Pharmacy practice is like these ideas on understanding the community. Vaguely speaking of course, go Google it to get better understanding. You can do things like I have done here, studying shared decision making (SDM) effect particularly of medication adherence and satisfaction. SDM is a model on decision making whereby both doctors and patient are equally responsible to decide. Some studied the patient belief on medicine, knowledge, perception etc etc. Apart from patient, there are some of us doing research on pharmacist and general public, as well as student. We would specified our population of course. My supervisor allowed us to choose our own population. Basically, I chose to approach diabetic patients. Since I also studies patient glycaemic/diabetic control using actual lab data, it is part clinical. Clinical based is this actual lab tools measured effect on body; like a friend of mine taking urine sample to look on salt intake and give out questionnaire to understand his respondent salt intake style. 

Lab people have a wider spectrum of research type. Some identify compound in plants, some study formulation profile, some do stability testing, some do this effect of stuff on mice things. Oh my, i am horrible. The point is, you need to reach for the RIGHT people to help you.

The research project you will be doing solely depends on your supervisor. I got this list of possible project we can do as well as rough explanation on what it really is. We decide among ourselves who will be doing what. Some supervisor simply assigned one for you, others might give you the freedom to choose. Very little though, it's also very confusing since doing a research meaning you need to venture on new things so having supervisor help is better. Troublesome to make sure no one actually done it. Don't worry, there will be no easy way if you thought choosing by yourself could get you. One thing or another, all kind of tittle have it's own specific challenge. 

We started our research project on the second semester of third year. It is a two semester course. However, on this first semester we focused on doing research proposal presentation, ethics application and literature review writing. On research proposal presentation, we will explain about our project and how we are going to do about it. The big why this research is needed, the justification, aims, target sample size, who is included who is not, the questionnaire used yada yada yada. It is as detailed as possible with the limit of time/slides given. You'll have slides and present in front few lecturers/examiners and all your coursemates. For the lab work, it generally the same but of course more lab based like the procedure used, standard to complied etc etc.  I'm not sure how much detailed they went by.

After that, since we, the survey peeps, are dealing with human respondents, we have to apply ethics approval. It is this long list of paperwork you need to do it ASAP since the ethics committee will meet few times per month only. If i'm not mistaken, twice only. I think some of us doing outside PPUKM might need to apply some others ethic application, KKM and things. Do make sure you clarify first with your supervisor. You need to send a research proposal also, in this document form. We agreed that by doing this detailed research proposal document earlier is better because you got all the actual data right and can go on to apply the ethics letter right away after research proposal presentation. You can just simplified the document for the slides in the presentation. I have done this way. Lab peeps don't need to do this except if they were using animals (mice of cource) and then need to specifically asked the ethics approval of haiwan thingy. They will decide how much mice you going to get among other things. Ours is simply filling up some form and sent it, these lab peeps need to do another presentation. Life and death situation thingy need more details.

By this time you have some papers you have referred to, have it listed and properly documented as in an actual database. You will need it for your literature review. Do a really good database please! There are few websites that allow you to "steal" research paper that need to be buy. ASK YOUR SENIORS. I'm not going to put those link in my blog. Sorry peeps, no can do.

Then you will do your literature review. THIS IS THE DEAL. You need to read tonnes of paper to understand the current situation. Like hundreds. Start as early as possible to do rough layout on what you want to discuss in your literature review and have it checked by your supervisor. If you like this damn slowest person on earth, at least get this done and checked by your supervisor. Some supervisor were thrilled to check your literature review in details, use them! Though of course you can't push them if you like, well, late. Have it sent early for them to check. Get their insight. It will give a more credible literature review and most importantly getting you on the right track. Seriously, my supervisor helped me a lot on this. I missed lots of important point on my first draft and get some concept wrong. I'm also this stupid which she has to explain few times before i can get the actual idea. Really use your supervisor.

You will have some workshop, i think by this time, few workshop has been done (referring to the current third year batch). Like the ethic things, the lab safety, the literature review, etc etc. Fret not my dear, you can ask in finer details in this workshops. You can also asked the library to held workshop one how to browse journals that UKM have subscribe as well as EndNote software to arrange your citations. I don't use it though, i preferred to do it on my own. Some of my friend also said that do it yourselves is easier. Some thing bout EndNote don't have the actually UKM citation style. Some also said it is easier. 

Make sure you were using the right formatting style!!

Anyhow, it will only be checked on fourth year. You can still re-edit some minor stuff afterwards. Believe me, some stupid mistakes bound to happen which you won't detect it until you actually read it back two months after. Like this post. We're a wreck that way.

no particular reason

p/s: i sounded off. grumpy? i'm having fever, currently very lethargy. I watched like 4 episodes of supernatural and have the funniest sleep schedule last night. who on earth slept at 830 pm and wake up at 1130pm just the sleep back near 5 am and woke up at 630 am and can't sleep back until like 1130am. me. 

Roll On : Dispensing tips for OSPHE

Mar 18, 2016


If you ain't a pharmacist wanna be. This post is obsolete. But do venture on this side our life. You're welcome here.


Last night I have this awful tak-sedap-hati feeling because we have our first OSPHE workshop today. I can't sleep until 1.30 am which might be due to the fact that i've slept the day or maybe due to the evening coffee i took which only make it worst. I was so restless that I can't even bring my eyes shut to force myself to sleep. I even read some online stories (don't give me the crap saying no phone before sleep).

I resort for 9gags afterwards which granted me success. Yet, it's late already, so not 9gag lullabying me. I am officially sleepy by somewhere near 2 am.

I have restlessness. I need my peace. My peace is my catalyst. So I treat myself a slow breakfast. It worked.

First tip: Be freaking calm!

However, OSPHE was so overrated. It really does. Alhough i am the least prepared person. I lost my bnf and refuse to buy a mims. Practically I have nothing.

Second tips : you need at least mims and bnf for dispensing and drug info workshop. I am prepared by the least. Drug info handbook is a leverage but the severity of OSPHE was not to include it. I borrowed my friend bnf and downloaded mims apps.

Yay mobile data.
Yay awesome phone that i borrowed since my phone is broken.
Yay life.

Emm. Lets get down to bussiness. The dispensing part.

This is the real tips. Although it is not so much of a pro tip and please don't make this into a standard or what, it is simply what i've learned from previous classes and discussing it with my friend. It a rough guide which would help during OSPHE. We come up with this when we try to dispense among ourselves and trying different sentences. Experimenting.


1. Ask patients name. We resort on "Hi, good morning, may i know your name please". Patient was deemed to rush because they have spend hours and taking medication is their last pitstop. Asking their name is better than asking "are you so and so". It makes them alert also. Then, introduce yourself (i like this part, heee)

2. Ask them if they knew their condition. " Do you what your medicine is for?".

3. Proceed by telling them which medication is for which condition as they have said before. We resolve on saying the dosing regimen " take this ?? daily, and ?? tablets/capsules/yadayada each time, before/after meal". Some condition will have different multiple medication, so finish each condition first ie "you have two type of medication for your diabetes which is ?? and ??".

4. After telling dosing regimen of a particular medication, you need to tell them any special advice like does it need to be chewed/shaken/when needed. Basically, finish everything about a medication then move on to other.

5. For things like inhaler and insulin pen, make sure to ask if this is their first time and if they know how to use it. Or else, you need to educate them. Won't be though, you'll have other session for this.

6. Ask if they have any problems. This one is on you. Lecturers can ask random various question. I was asked why the patient need to take Gelusil (a type of antacid).

7. Ask the patient to repeat what you have advice. Oh my!!!!! I didn't do this today!!!!

I just ended season 6 supernatural and it was great. Sad of course since I liked Castiel and Dean was too miserable. This is why Destiel is shipped. But at first episode on season 7, Castiel become Leviathan. It is an antagonist character like destroy-the-world kind of antagonist.

But it was AWESOME.

Malaysia is damn hot.

Poem : Affection

Mar 16, 2016

He is a joy.
My own personally tailored dose.
He is uncontainable, wreckless, messy.
But he stand firmly, with sureness and authority.
Yet he would smile playfully and agitatingly affectionate,
Here I am mesmerized and stunned.

In the morning he'll have coffee,
Black with sugar.
Bitter with hint of sweet.
His spectacles seem to never leave his sight
and he will refuse anywhere but near me.
He like his morning so.
We didn't talk.
Only appreciative calmness.
Small gestures.

Like a peck on my cheek while i take my heavenly first coffee sip.
Tucking his chin on my shoulder while showing todays news on his sleek black metallic smartphone.

On rainy days he'll make me wear sweater,
Stroking my feet justifying the need for sock,
And we'll watch tv,
Never romantic ones cause well, we never really did.
Maybe some actions ones
Contented with the rain, under the shade of a homey home.

That we both build.

-for an unknown reason, feeling poem-ing now. It's horrible but well.

Roll on : Adulting Challenge.

I have this pestering hatred on stupid things posted on facebook that my "friend" shares/likes. Unfortunately, I can't tailor my newsfeed to only have things i'm interested only. Yet of course, i can't really unfriend people because they are interested on things I hate.

Well, I can actually. Just don't have that diligence to go through my friend list.

Gah, among the things I hope I realize earlier in my life : knowing someone I know never meant straight away be an acquiantance on facebook. I should have a more private facebook.

Wow, to actually have that words out kinda put a sense of reality and it is an exquisite one.

I should really do that.

I got some friend who actually do "check up" to remove this unimportant peeps from their facebook or simply make a new account. It's liberating.

But, as a matter of fact, it is not possible to choose who would intervene your life. Yeah, you can choose your peer, but you can never choose who would step into your life. Even "better" if those peoples you are not particularly interested would be an important part of your life. For, well, reasons.

This is the time I thought i've been adulting. I realized the freedom of not having to accept people. Again, liberating. Yet, one part of adulting is to accept crap people. This is what i am facing right now. Accepting crap.

I hate to don't like someone but believe me, i tried my best to justify how wrong to actually don't like someone. I learned that we all have flaws which we need to live with. Accept with open heart. Lets face it. I'm a difficult person. I have to be open hearted.

Anyhow, i am today was put into multiple situation needing me to play very nicely with my least favourite person. Exhilarating indeed. Karma.

I know this has bother me so much because I wanted to learn to be able to accept people which I know by heart that they doesn't deserve such hatred. Just that. I don't really understand the chemistry behind how I actually hated a person. I would picture the traits that i'm not fond of not to be a very big matter. It's not like someone is killed or millions of tax money being corrupted. Yet, i still have a list of least-contact-as-possible persons.

This is perplexing.

But, the beauty is, I think Allah put me into this so that I learned to overcome my issues. I am a firm believer to overcome your hatred by understand exactly what you were dealing with. I think i didn't try hard enough before and this is how Allah wanted to help me.

So this is me, accepting a challenge.

Stop war. Spread love. Or whatever.

Roll On : Decorating my study table.

Mar 7, 2016

Oh my. I never thought I would be doing this kind of post. But i have so much fun doing the decorating stuff, as you may have called it, and it turned out just the way i wanted it. Even better actually. But please don't be so expecting okay.

So first thing first, i got over those broken feeling of that sad sad fanfiction of Destiel which is probably due to by reading other too unrealistic sweet fluffy love story.

I'm a hopeless lover.


Anyway, today is a long day. We have class from 8 to 5, supposedly. We started at 8.20 am (i notice, do acknowledge that i freaking notice this) and finished at 4.20 pm. We even have extra 30 minutes for lunch hour. This few weeks will be PACKED. I think it was rather purposely since upon starting clerkship, it loosen a little. Only a little though. It's going to be worst. I will need to be well caffeinated to go through life.

BEFORE (i still having hard time processing i'm doing this pre/post stuff)

I actually have stripped the previous ones. It was a clutter. I like clutter stuff but this table is too small and the clutter mess my mind. It annoys. Previously in KTSN, i do clutter. We have a simple and spacious study table with a blue board hung on the wall. The table was quite big so i can be messy but still have space.

Whoa. It sounded like i'm a freaking mess.

This is my study table at KTSN. I didn't have a better picture but the messy pens and flower and bread and vitamin were on the edge. I still have much space on the table to do stuff.

Now, I was thinking to actually do it right. Like deco stuff right. I research! Tumblr and Pinterest and come to a specific colour that I want and actually get exactly the one I pictured. It was so satisfying. the process took ages though. Most likely because I wanted to sing a long since I was on Youtube and keen to discover Panic! At the Disco and All American Rejects and Fall Out Boy and freaking relive the songs I used to hear during highschool. I love to sing. My housemates can vouch for that. Not only that, it is quite thin and the hideous marks where still visible though I do two layers. I took my used A4 paper with blank space at one side to first cover it. It took AGES.

i felt slighly shy to took better picture.

I remove that bottle at the right. It felt bit crowded. The bracelets were perfect. Both were gift from Sabah. I don't really wear them but i like pearls. It finally deserve a purpose! At the left side, that thing i made to put my stationary was actually the cardboard of our tissue rolls. It is very convenient now. I left my pencil case in my bag and simply use the stationary i put there. Less clutter on the table when i'm doing my work and no more forgotten it of course. Previously i have those pen pot which its' spot was replaced by my drinking bottle. I only have my drinking bottle on my table now. I put my laptop on the top side when i didn't use it. It felt really nice to have empty table since it is small and dark. I was thinking to put some light but cancelled it since it means more things on the table.

Did i tell you that the colour was perfect? It really is! It is those transparent paper whereby i couldn't explain how it actually is and i don't know what it is called. But just look at the colour!! It was exactly as i've picture. The paper was so long but i just love the colour tad too much and buy it right away. I have plenty more and can actually cover another 2 or 3 table. I got it at MPH and it cost me only RM5. I spend about another RM3 for the colourful push pins from a stationary shop here called Beacon. I have the thumbtack for forever now. It's cheap though, below RM1.

The paper surface didn't allow good adhesion with selotape so i need to pin all the things and put lots of selotape for some of the thing since i didn't was it to seem crowded with all the pins. I punch holes on the yellow paper before pinning it with the push pins. It is the list of lectures with dates and the lecturers giving it. By doing that i can easily flip through other course. I do the same with my timetable (above it) but i simply ripped as the week ended,

I have my notes on the right of the upper side. The one that laying down. I even managed to label it such way I can easily recognize which is which simple. Look at the picture below.

that is my broken Redmi 1s. 

It was annoying sometime to twist around the note as i put the rings but if i didn't do it that way, the notes will be misplaced REGULARLY.

I lost thing easily and get messy even more easily. I learn this useful tips whereby you need to have a designated place for stuff so by time, unconsciously, you will start putting your things at the right place. It work.

My friend don't really know my blog and i didn't really wanted them to. The writing me was quite different from the actual me. Bit more outgoing and cheerful sort of.

Lame most likely a suitable word. Like those lame thing we do because we are normal and not as cool as the Winchester brother.



i was having fun writing Castiels'

Roll On : Me is sad.

Mar 3, 2016

"Destiel stand for dean + castiel. Supernatural fandom were digging on this and Misha was having fun with it. He ship it alright. They have tonnes of Destiel fanfic. It's gay love of course."

Me is quite sad.

I just finished reading a fanfic on f*cking Destiel.
I am f*cking in love with Haley Reinhart voice singing Can't Help Falling in Love.
Then i am f*cking read someone commented he/she was lead there by a Destiel fanfic which seems pretty good considering they are others agreeing.
I just finished reading a fanfic on f*cking Destiel.

I have finished it. It was so good and there is this emptiness inside me like. whoahh. arghh. sigh.

It ended tragically and i hated how the characters was, but i can't ask it to be more perfect than it already is. i think because it is realistic that it hurts. It is a serious love/hate relationship.

The beauty of innocent love was captured ever so beautiful.
The strength behind it was so moving.
The way Cas' hurts, it was damn unfair.

The writers have done an excellent job. I do hope they can actually write a proper book and i would definitely buy them.

Look at me being all soft with a love story, but it was more than that actually. They set it during the Vietnam war when homo is in hiding and Dean even went to war. He get seriously affected by it. Both of them living a screwed life with even screwed up past and found happiness with each other company.Both were strong but vulnerable. I totally dig how they choose to run their life on their on term though life is this big boulder on them. It like when you feels like crap all that and get home to peace of your loved ones. it's their safe haven. Don't get me wrong, i dont do gay. It's just a beautiful love story with awesome plotline. Too beautiful.

It makes me wonder though, does love makes us stupid?
or does love is totally worth for the stupidity?

It is more than just a love story.

I just need to get this out of my chest. I'm going to have this emptiness sensation for sometimes in my life. I hated how books can affected me this way yet i love that i get the chance to own this feeling.

Me is quite sad.

Roll On : Suraya Nasi Kukus.

Mar 2, 2016

there is this restaurant in Kampung Baru called Suraya. We love it. The portion was big and the price is reasonable. It also tasted good and always packed with veggies. Their second branch is a walking distance from Plaza Rah. The first one quite far that we didn't bring ourselves to walk the miles.

The second branch have these Nasi Kukus and Nasi Briyani and other new menus than the first one. But they didn't have the famous varieties of kerabu (sort of Thailand salads with things like chilis and lemon as dressing). Only the mangoes ones.

So, actually. My sister took few beautiful pictures when we went there the first time. We tried the kerabu mangga and nasi briyani and nasi kukus. The chicken was marvellous. You could choose between grilled or fried. I preferred grilled of course but that abang waiter (who look damn confused) have wrongly took my orders. We keep on making those girly talks and giggles and stuff when we went there because he is quite cute. He seems less confused though,

I'll try to snap a picture on their menus later with their prices.

The ice-cream was so good with all their condiments.

the one focusing on the food. my sister. working her tricks.

the pictures taken using Redmi 1S. Don't be mistaken with Redmi 2S. As the picture watermark showed, she uses Candy Camera filters.

# i am in love with my new template. i got for FREE. check out HERE.