Living Late Twenties - New Job, New Atmosphere and Far From Home

Feb 28, 2022

I need to spend some hours just to tweak my laptop back. I did some personalization on it as to make it more "aesthetically pleasing" but the system I used kinda annoying and I've been meaning to try new stuff but this has been going for months already but each time I'm at my laptop it was for work or like I'm watching something for the sake of my mental health.

I've just watched Eternals the other day, the plot was amazing but the storytelling part (I don't know what the exact term should be) could've been better. I am kinda done with MCU, mostly because there's a lot of them and I can't be bothered to keep up. Like I've only watched No Way Home because my siblings wanted to and we did like the whole gang going to the cinema and all. Not gonna lie, I love the surprise plot so so much.

I love Eternals though. I think my brain is simply wired to love anything with Angelina Jolie in it. She's so prettyyyyy. I'm not a k-drama girl and watched only a handful of Korean movies plus some sneak when my sister was watching it but I know who Ma Dong Seok is and I adore him. So I was looking forward to seeing him in this too. It was great. I love it. But the end though T_________________T

Ok, that's it, now let's get into the real reason why I'm writing today. I kinda have to write those first because I need to feel that I have other things in my life instead of just my new work that has been positively stressing the hell out of me. But in a good way. 

But stress is always stressing though.

I've written before that I was doing my three-month notice and today marked my third week of training at my new place. It's a one-month training plus six months probation kind of deal and god I am not doing well.

I was so stressed out for the fact that I'm now in Kuantan, a total of six hours away from my home, needing to adjust to a new working environment which is like a mix of 360-degree changes from my previous work plus a whole other kind of expectations that I didn't expect, somehow having one of the colleagues awfully reminds me of this one colleague at the hospital I work before that I simply hate and now I feel like I need to re-boot that It Has Been series.

The worst thing is I am alone here. Don't give me that "sapa suruh pi keje sana?" because the deal was that after I finish my probation, I'm going to work at their new branch at Perak, which conveniently hasn't opened yet. I am trying my most damn to hold onto that silver lining, that I can finally work in Perak, but there's no outlet opening in Perak now so it's kinda hard to keep a "positive mindset" at the moment (insert that skull emoji right here).

This opportunity is by far the most challenging I have been and from what I've been talking with my friends, it might be the most challenging there is in our sector. We've always known this though but when you're in the system, it's a whole different kind of thing and everything simply makes sense. Simply think of it as the Family Mart of the 24-hours convenience stores or like the Pavilion of shopping malls. Their system is really what made it possible and from what we've been talking with my friends, it is indeed currently the only one who brings up to this par and they also pioneering with amazing health services. It was indeed a celebration of our professionalism too.

However, did I tell you that for my probation, they stationed me in one of their most performing outlets? So it's like adapting to a new way of working altogether plus in the most hectic outlet as well. Welcome to my life.

It is a stressful expectation with a lot of tiring effort, and a combination of both is never a good thing in my life, talking from past experiences too. Am I exaggerating? Well most probably, since I've only been in the shop for a few days, it's not enough time to be making conclusions. Yet, I know that I need to acknowledge this. That understanding this helps me to set the right mindset versus per what "performing peoples" be saying is that I need to power through.

I hate that mindset, it feels wrong that you need to summon extra power to go through something on a daily.

I might be making too many early judgments or I might be wise enough to actually be making good early judgements (lol) but here's for today. An absolute newbie and this newbie is taking this hard. 

Yet also this newbie realizes that this is the next step that I need to go onto while still being young. That this is a big and quite a rare opportunity that enables me to absorb more relevant and structured knowledge and experiences. That I will absolutely love the outcome of my own self-progress if I succeeded in the probation. That I needed this challenge in order to become better in the way that I want and the space to be able to channel my growth. For all of these, I'm simply at THE place to be. So this is going to be my mindset.

But I'm going to need some minor practical shifts and reminders to do on the daily too. Like how to cope with that one colleague, or when the stresses are building up, what can I do? Especially since simply going back home isn't the best choice now. Good time management too so that I can succeed in all the expectations they set for me and not be a living burnt-out body.

The most important thing is the need to keep a fresh mindset every day instead of being daunted by the previous one so that I can work my best to improve myself. This is key. The key.

Oh ya, I need to buy a new MediFeet shoe if I'm going to be standing all day.

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