Starting Somewhere

Apr 24, 2024

I haven't posted for a year and a half. I posted something about living in my late twenties last time and now I'm 31. I still keep paying for the domain though. Mostly because I wanted that domain all to myself - just in case. 

A lot has happened. My father died due to a heart attack and now there are just us. I have been put in charge of my outlet for more than a year now and I am so stressed out about that. I get to do two Ramadhan and Raya fully at home, so grateful. I wanted to travel more before my passport expires so I made two trips to Singapore and once to both Thailand (Bangkok and Phuket) and Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh and Dalat). The trips were so good and I love the style that we did it.

Also, I met a guy. He's great and I'm so in love.

I guess this pretty much summed up much of what has happened. If we go into detail, I would have so much to say about everything. From how messed up I'm feeling at work but at the same time feeling fulfilled to how much I love feeling in love to all the little fun trips and cafe hopping I get to do too plus being able to spend more time with my family. For now, this is a good summary.

So here I am - writing again after so long. I have been meaning to write for months because writing always clears my mind. I thought it could help me reset my mind and get more focused to improve my work and personal life. The problem is I don't feel "calmed and focused" enough to actually start writing. Not to mention with everything happening, writing really didn't sit well as priorities at all which is really a shame for me knowing how this has work well for me the last time I have a turmoil in my life.

A lot has happened for the last two months at work which has greatly affected my mental health as well as my personal life. It has also put me into deeper reflection and internal discussion with myself. I also got my manager into it. It got me thinking if quitting is the solution yet it's not like I feel I'm not able to handle the job - it is mostly how I choose to let work affect me and how I response to it. Let's be honest, the job never finishes, how we get around it is the important thing to truly have a balanced work/life.

I got to figure out some good points to get through better at work. A sort of reset I guess. There's this journal thing I started to do which I'm still perfecting the inclusion of it into my daily life. I got few pointers that I ought to practice and most of it all, I need to learn how to let go at work. workload and also expectations. 

I was hoping this will help me to get a better personal life too. All these stressing really has put my body into a constant tiredness. Just last night I simply dies after my solat. It was so hard to wake up too. I was in a better state of mind but still, my physical body still took a lot. 

One thing at a time I guess - and getting back to writing does feel like a good start.

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