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Aug 11, 2020

My Hacks to Chill and Keep Grounded

hi. 

It has been so overwhelming for the past two months. I don't know why but it just so. Just last Thursday I got this mini anxiety (is that even legit?) because I have to cook early in the morning for the staff so that I can finish my bread and eggs that were expiring, had to manage a dinner plan for 12 that needed 40 minutes to drive while still needed to travel another four hours to Penang the next day for a three days trip. 



The timeline was all mixed up but I remember that I went for a day trip to Pangkor on Sunday and got back at almost midnight only to work tomorrow. Then to make thing more interesting, the whole week was packed with dinner plans, a 2pm to 10pm shift, buying a present and saying goodbye to our friend that got a job at Sabah. It was exhausting and I still went back to my hometown as I got an appointment at Hannan Medispa.

Then there is also this one week where I feel so shitty and depress which is most probably due to my menses is nearing and to top it off, I also got the weekend's shift. This was the same week where a friend of mine was being obnoxiously stupid and it was just so annoying and maddening. I had to give him a silent treatment just to chill and show that YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME. 

Ok, maybe I'm still a bit bitter.


There was a blur of more dinner plans, planning for Penang trip, settling some works stuff, simply taking care of myself, my life's routine of questioning what I am doing with my life and I only seem to get a good sleep while at hometown. Amidst all those confusion I started to get acne due to mask-wearing and my hair is thinning and falling so bad. I don't have the luxury to care for my food intake and now I gain like 4kg like WHERE DID YOU COME FROM??

Anyway, it was a miracle that I'm still sane. The only way that I still survive those and not losing my mind is by doing these small things that keep me grounded and just be at ease. Keeping grounded is important for me because it feels like I'm going to lose myself if I just let the day pass without checking in with myself. It feels like I just float and got lost in the sky. Anyway, these weren't really THE tips for a wholesome and happy life but it helps me to cope when things feel too overwhelming.


Less social media time

I realized that I keep being on my phone to keep my mind off things but it just makes me feel even worse. I don't know how to scientifically explained it but it just is. So by being on my phone, especially social media, less, will help me feel a bit clear-headed. But not being on the phone just make me anxious. I need to be doing something but sometimes I'm just too tired to do anything productive or things that need me to focus like reading or writing. 

It wasn't totally foolproof but I have these little tricks I play on myself to get me off my phone. It didn't last long but it still helps. I consciously make rules that I need to obey before I can get on my phone. For example, I'm going to eat my food in silence and just savor it before checking my phone or I'm not going to check my phone and just enjoy the company I'm having at the moment or I let my battery drained and let it charge to full first because it will ensure my battery health. Sometimes I make a list of simple things I can do back to back and it helps me feeling accomplish so then I don't feel bad for being on my phone. If I really don't have anything to do, I make sure I watched something on Netflix instead of scrolling social media.

Good sleep

Good sleep is important. But I usually managed to sleep earlier easily and better at my hometown. I usually got nothing better to do by 10pm on weekdays but I can't bring myself to sleep early as I have always had this internal clock that I sleep at 12am. Usually, it wasn't really a problem to sleep at 12am because I always get a good sleep so I feel well-rested the next morning. But nowadays, I don't feel that way anymore.

I also just realized that my current lifestyle is taking a toll on my mental health so I really needed that good sleep. It helps me to start my day right and getting enough rest just puts the stress away. Now I'm trying to sleep earlier and set a new internal clock. It might take months to adjust but I think it is my next step in life or else I'll keep on feeling tired all day long. Not to mention that now I must have a decent breakfast instead of just coffee because I'll get all moody and sad waiting for lunch but lunch doesn't satisfy me much. I really did get to a stage in life where poor sleep and diet just ruin my day.


via GIPHY

Reading and Writing Poetry

Reading has been a great solace for me. I was so happy to learn about knowing Haruki Murakami's works. Reading his books, however confusing the storyline is, it always put me at ease. It was either the way he explains things or simply how he walks the characters, make me feel calm in following it. 

Writing poetry, on the other hand, is a good way for me to play with my creative side. It gives me a sense of hands-on activity that put me away from the mundane way of life. Though it is arguable to say that I'm a creative person. Sometimes I like to venture on a topic that has occupied my mind and just can't seem to fall through. By writing it, it gives me some sense of control and a whole lot of better understanding. Sometimes it helps me to let go. When some particular issues crowded my mind so hard, I try to make myself write a poem out of it and it calms me.

Time off from peoples

I'm not one to talk much if you're not my crowd even if we're going to work together, just the two of us, for the next 10 hours. I find it serenely resetting to spend my night shift with a person that I don't talk much and just not talking. You do you, I do me. We're going to be fine. Sometimes peoples are overwhelming to me. So I will consciously try to avoid being near peoples that I don't feel like vibing especially at work. There are a few times that I just spend my day with myself instead of going home. I don't know if it an ambivert thing or whatnot but I find myself needing that alone time especially after spending time with peoples. A day should be just fine and then I'm good.



Cleaning


I'm not really the tidiest person but I can't stand mess except when I'm tired. Which I always do now. But doing small things to clean stuff and put order into things really calms me. It also put me into a good mood though I take forever to do it. There is this weekend where I purposely spent my morning cleaning around the house because the week ha been too much for me and it works. I knew that cleaning makes me feel good but I thoughts it was because I finally put things where it should be but it turns out the act of cleaning itself helps me to feel better. So now sometimes, I tried to clean a bit in the morning of things that I left the night before because I was so tired and it helps me to feel better to go to work.


That's it! Omg, this is long and it took a whole week to write. 

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