Things I Want to Change About Myself?

Jan 31, 2021

I literally just thought about this. It was the usual realization of things "I should have done" that I only got the time to really ponder deeply about it now that PKP has started again and I have all the time to myself. 

Talking about PKP, what's with the 5K cases? The daily deaths too. This feel so out of hand. Like for real, I'm going to actually continue writing my Covid-19 Diary series cause it seems like we are going to be here for a while.

Anyway, back to the title, this isn't supposed to be a dark thing whatsoever. It was more like things that I have always been conscious about but not too much but still, doing something about it might be a good thing considering I'm two years left to go into my thirties. I might still not doing anything after this but I feel like writing and writing have always been my safe place.


My body weight has been increasing since forever. I've never considered dieting or exercising because for the most part of my life I wasn't exactly fat thanks to my height and stature but now it seems like those can't help me anymore. My cheeks are literally falling out of my hijab lol. Do I hate it? Not exactly. My only problem is that I can't really rock outfits that I think look so cool but won't exactly work if I'm not thin enough. 

It might hurt my chances of getting a guy but these outfits thing is my main issue now. Plus I'm getting older and having some more movements out of my daily life might help me not being a burden when I'm older. I hate being a burden. It makes me anxious.

Skin routine

My acne is acting up, and the mask is just making it worse. I decided to retake Accutane again. Even with the vaccine coming up, there is still a long time for us to spend being vigilant so yeah the mask might stay for a little longer. 

Then I also realized that I have a really bad habit at skincare. I mean I do them but for the most part of it, I still pick at my acne, and recently, I have been doing such a good job of not doing my skincare routine. Mostly because it got so discouraging how oily my skin gets afterward and nothing seems to work off my acne. It was taking so long to heal and the mask keeps on ruining the already slowly healing acne. I'm getting better at it though since I change some of the product and limit to three items only. 

Daily routine

I think I need to add a little something to my life. Make it more stable and fulfilling like those aesthetically pleasing "daily routine vlog". Since we are in the Covid-19 season, my current life includes work, fyp, animes, and tv shows. Although I have exactly no problem doing those things as I chilled after a day of work, my soul kinda craves something more. 

It wasn't about having a purpose in life because I have long settled with living a carefree and chill day to day life but I guess a little something more would help me not getting bored easily. I've been feeling good lately since I started my new work so I guess I just wanted to use this energy more.

That was it. It was rather a short list now, doesn't it? Now I'm not sure what's left to say anymore. Although there is one important change I need to do that is simply hurting my ego yet I just have to do it. 

Have you guys ever heard how bitchy Digi is when their users want to change telco? I have experienced it first hand and it was so obnoxious that I vowed not to use them ever again. 

Guess what telco has the most speed in my new place?

p/s - today is supposed to be a chill Sunday but why is it so hot!

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