Roll On : Killin myself

when you happy like a fool.
let it take you over.

:)

I am currently on the bus heading back to UKMKL. I am at PPUKM now.

You see, people tend to postpone things that made them uncomfortable. Things they perceive as HARD. I am always doing this, hence, procnasting. I am talking about my thesis. It is already the fourth week but I only get 10 patient to answer my questionnaire. It is really stressful. But i am laughing of it.

I am giving reasons since i gives effort. Though i realize i need to give more. Also i need to study which cause me shuffling my time between so. I really really want to achive the original target of this questionnaire.

Then our timetable was shuffled. Annoying really. I got my appointment for my acne tomorrow and they scheduled a class tomorrow. And i only knew this TODAY. Yeah. Suck.

I am scared at to many things.

I am still not managing my life best. I need to look deep into my time and study and thesis management.

I want to write badly in my blog but i cant get a coherent points. I am literally babbling one topic to others.

See how messed up i am now?


Roll On : I'm scared.

little that people around me know, my pimples do affect me. much.

But not until lately that i realize it started to affect me damn much and there is really not much for me to do. At this stage I need to be medicated here in KL if i were to adhere to it.

I am scared how it may affect me forever. The scars also. And i cant treat the scars if the acnes were still there. My skin get too sensitive and too thin. I am scared.

My dad thought that I care less bour it. But I really do care just that i get clueless whenever to stick to a plan. To make thing worse, the many ways to cure acne need a loooooooooooong time of dedication.

Today, I went to see my co-supervisor of my research. But it is not for my research. Still felt at lost since i was free the entire morning which could be use to do my survey but i ended up reading Who Moved My Cheese since i can't be registered as patient of PPUKM due to system break down. I think i waited for a good 1 whole hour.

My co-sv turns out to manage dermato cases (but not the specialist one, she refers me to one). She offered to help me seeing my acne worsen after the exams. Well. It usually does worsen but not this bad really.

The offer was about 1 month ago. I can only went to see her today. Just to register and get an appointment. I was told it would be free. It is but i have to pay uo first the claimed it later. It require those guarantee letter (GL) stuff which I DON'T KNOW. The best thing is i didn't get my scholarship which means i can't afford
to pay.

Mind you i can only realize this when i come up to the counter to pay. Oh ya, did i tell you I FREAKING LEFT MY PURSE BACK AT MY HOUSE.

i went back and forth (ppukm and ukmkl) to settled this. I can only get the GL next week. I still didn't check if the claim need to be done here in UKMKL of UKM Bangi.

One to another.


But still I get a really good vibe out of this plan. It seem to go to the right direcrion. I know the medication she was planning for me in which i'm sure it will helps.

Whoever reading, pray lah for me. T---T

These only cause more fear for me. But as the book say, i need to adapt. To work it out.

Tired leh.

Oh.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha folks!


Roll On : Change of Life (Part 2)

que sera sera
what will be, will be
the future is not ours to see

i don't know why on earth those song lyrics popped into my mind.

greeting. myself. pffftt.

i am now an official fouth year student in UKM KL. kind to think of it, this blog really not helpful at all for those who were interested to learn about the life of UKM KL students. though it should be. but whatever la, my blog kan.

my friend told me it is kind of tak boleh blah that i babbled about myself here. well. it's kind of therapeutic at one point and really i just want to voice myself out. to clear out stuffs.

again, MY blog kannnn.

changing my life. so how it has been going? to start with. i don't start at all.

oh my. such a hopeless human being. need a wondrous miracles to happen for me to become a good pharmacist eyy.

that zen guy have this ebook for a kickstart on changing your life but it says that i need to spend some time and read the ebook in one go. and i am like, okayyyyy. kejap lagi eh.
source

and it kept going on like that. however, i am most certainly wanted to try to finish it tonigh since writing this up kind of put me on those go mode.

say positive thing.

I WILL READ THIS FREAKING EBOOK.

but, it is kind of a great sem. i am going to spend 2k for my yuran and stuff which is few hundreds more than what i used to pay because i am living in a FREAKING CONDOMINIUM.


source

i get low merits which entitled me for a condo. fancy huh? the great thing was that my housemates were extremely well organized and diligent. so i kind of jangkit sikit-sikit lah. alhamdulillah.

the plan now is to keep writing under this tajuk so that i keep track of my change.

ZEN GUY. HERE I COME. uhuk.


le zen guy