January Wrapped and February To Do

It is February already and January was perfect. Though I'm not exactly ace-ing the to-do list for January. Let's go through it, shall we?

Two blog posts - list of poetry books I have and 2018 faves -part two

I procrastinate the list of poetry book so bad. It got held back because I can't find good apps for sharing pictures from my smartphone to my laptop. I used to email it which is such a troublesome. I resort to using Google Drive instead. Oh ya, I hated using a USB cable. I'm staying true to become wireless.

Spring Cleaning my blog's labels

It is not 100% done but I manage to clear the important ones. Basically, I'm trying to categorize my posts instead of putting random labels. There are hundreds of post to go through. So I'm going to take some time.

Do Hatyai's itinerary planning 

I've told that I wanted to at least wrote itinerary as my New Year's resolutions. I bought a mini notebook for this. Hatyai's trip is pretty straightforward. I just noted the ticket price, it's going to be a 3-days-2-night trip and what market to go. Although I do notice that the train ticket got sold out so quickly.

Update 10 poems discussion for Instagram

I got so lazy to do this. I think I only manage to do four? But I'm determined to at least finished studying 10 poems even if I didn't manage to put the discussion on my Instagram account. The poems are really interesting. Scroll down to get the link to my poetry account.
Image result for why i'm so lazy

At least have 5 days with 5k steps + At least have 5 days with 10k steps

I FAILED SO BAD. I got so tired and lazy after work that I just give up. I tried to do it during the weekends but yeah, I don't. There is actually one day that I went out to the field to get the 10k steps but OMG 10k is a lot. I only managed to get 5k because it was getting dark. I got few days that the steps go beyond 5k. Google Fit isn't showing monthly stats? I did buy Mi Band 2 to get me more motivated. So let's do this Afifah!

Choose two cause to donate monthly

I thought of choosing two cause since, y'know, get the money spread and stuff. That is when I remembered Yayasan Dana Kebajikan Muslim Malaysia (YDKMM). I knew some of the volunteers or should I say, members? I'm not quite sure but they did a lot. From really good programs to help youth, collects funds for disaster/hunger/asnaf and qurban too.

Hang out leisurely with friends (done)

The idea was that I specifically target which friend I need to hang out for the month so that I can nurture our bond (wallawei ayat). I was thinking to hang out with these two friends that lived quite far from me and I did. It was so good cause I can talk a lot with them since I'm really comfortable with them. It was a good time. I miss them already.

Read 30 pages of Midnight Monologues

One of my resolutions is to read 25 books and it's like the middle of January when I realize that I need to read at least two books per month to reach that goal. I can be so stupid someime. Anyway, I'm just a few pages away to finish Midnight Monologues.  Need to do some catching up fellas.

At least have two weeks of tracking calories (not necessarily be calorie deficit)

I did and it was confusing, frustrating but also satisfying? Using MyNutrisi Diari app is good because they have plenty of Malay food but the portion can be confusing. But actually, I just need to eat the right portion. Plus, there is this easy option to state the portion you have had and even if the food is not listed, I can simply Google the calorie and adjust it accordingly. It helps to understand how I can control food intake strategically. I have lots of days that I go beyond the normal daily calorie intake though.

Image result for gif i love food

Puasa for two days

I wanted to do another day but I got lazy and now I am PMS-ing which means I feel hungry all the time plus I'll always feel slightly hypoglycaemic which is not good. Not good at all.


Ok now let's go to February's goals! I think we can add my resolution to be wiser in money management for the month.

  1. Read Lullabies and 30 Hari Mencari Tuhan (I know I've said no more self-help books but I've bought it already ffs)
  2. Study and publish discussion for five poems (on @afifahwrites)
  3. Published all the poems that are left from January (on @afifahwrites)
  4. Plan an itinerary to Singapore
  5. Have 10 days of more than 5k steps
  6. Track weekdays calorie
  7. Have 10 days calories deficit (not including fasting days)
  8. Fast for three days
  9. Choose a yoga/stretches routine for de-stressing after work
  10. February feelings - try to write and publish (on @afifahwrites) three poems about nostalgic feelings.
  11. Keep track of daily spending habit
  12. Blog - write around the theme of "being free and not let anybody affect you" and my cooking for one for one week thing.
  13. Hangout with wani? That seems interesting.

Ok guys. I just need you guys to pray for me. Pray that I DO ALL OF THIS.

My Poetry Books Collection

I always banned myself from buying books because there are a lot of books that I have and still not read. But I always come to justify poetry books, especially the local ones, because it is just so hard to come across ones. 

and now, me, not an avid reader, got a small collection of poetry books. There are those that I didn't read or not yet finished reading, but I'm planning to read it all (read it again for those that I have finished) which will be included in this year To Be Read (TBR).

click on the title to be directed to Goodreads and I'm sorry for taking such shitty pictures.

All The Bodies We've Embraced by Sheena Baharudin

I think Sheena is the first important Malaysian poetry figures that I knew. Quite conveniently, after knowing and at awe for about a few months, Sheena published her second book. I can't remember how I bought it though. I loved how the book filled with such humanity, complete with how simple or complicated things can be. I like her style too. She is a good spoken-poet as well and now I'm excited to re-read the book. Go check her Instagram!

Magic and Madness by Zack Shah

I say that I like Sheena Baharudin's style right? I LOVE Zack Shah's style. The titles summed it so well - it is filled with magic and madness. I always try to incorporate these two elements when I write my poems, so loving this comes come naturally. He plays with wizardry, the Greeks, pixies and moon and stars - I am hopeless. I'm still waiting for his new book (which God know when) and his Instagram account is not enough. I think he saved the good ones for his book.

21 by Tasha Lim

Tasha Lim self-published her books so there is no Goodreads review of it. I knew Tasha from my Instagram poetry meddling. I met few Malaysian poets on Instagram and we even did this small project where everyone needs to make a post about "hope" to celebrate New Year of 2017. You guys can check #newhopefromMalaysia (but you'll find plenty of work from Jack Malik which I'm pretty sure he just copy paste his hashtags and keeps on putting that hashtag). Enough about that, Tasha's poems stays true to her style of rhyming. Although there are plenty of love poems, it wasn't those cheesy and repetitive ones so I still enjoy it. Think of it as that light, breezy, Sunday morning reading with a cup of hot Milo. Her friend's drawing is so cute too.

Paracosm by Arina

I accidentally found this book and Arina is awesome. Apparently, she starts writing poignant poems at the young age of seven years old. Her works is all about humanity. She wrote about the war at Afghanistan, how people had to flee their county and she even wrote a piece dedicated to Aylan Kurdi. As you can see, the book was published by Tun Suffian Foundation because apparently, the sales of the book will be given to the foundation to provide scholarships. She is around 18 when she published this book. Look at her drawings too! This is one crazy-talented girl.

Daylight Dialogues by Charissa Ong Ty

I also stumbled upon this one and I'm still reading it. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. The poems are easy to be understood but it sometimes feels like more of a really well-written sentence than a poem. It does deliver the message, even though the messages are mostly about that naive love and how it becomes passionate and then comes heartbreaks, which I think why it becomes so popular? I noticed such poetry books becomes popular and it saddens me because it isn't my type. So I can't really turn to "that famous poetry book" if I want a new reading. The short stories were good though and it is most probably because it stops being that cliche'.

Lullabies by Lang Leav

Now I can't really say poetry if I didn't read Lang Leav's right? Her book always sit at that best selling throne is MPH and Popular but I never buy one because INTERNATIONAL BOOKS IS DAMN EXPENSIVE. This is a preloved book and thank god I decided to buy a preloved one because it is so boring. Why can I like something that everyone likes? Again, it is the repetitive, love and heartbreak and not to mention her style are the same throughout the book. Sometimes, it kinda feels that I simply read the same poem in a slightly different arrangement. She does have that good "plot twist" thing that I love reading in a poem but apart from that, I can't really think of a reason to buy more of her books. I read it halfway and got really bored. Gotta re-read it and put it behind me.

There is one more book that I'm planning to read but I still don't buy it. Same like Tasha Lim's, it is a self-published book by Nuruljannah. I also knew her from Instagram. You can check her Instagram to buy the book. I think I'll just update this list when I finished reading her book.

That is all!

It's okay to not be spitting rainbow

There are two quite shitty things happened recently and I'm absolutely horrified even at the idea of tomorrow. Plus, there are some events to happen this week that are just as emotionally exhausting. Two of the event involves people that I'm not ready to meet. It's not like they are bad or anything, it's just me not wanting to meet peoples (at the moment, I'm not shutting out peoples) and be what they expect me to be when I don't feel like it. I'm not depressed or anything but these are some prominent things and the tense kinda builds up today so yeah, I am mildly panicking. Also, it's not really panic but somewhere in the middle of feeling unneeded worries and also, in general, feels like, I should be better than this but also like, do I deserve good things?

I don't even know how to write this feeling appropriately but I know I need to write it than simply sleep it off. Plus, I kinda made a deal with myself to write more about my mental wellbeing because these are important kinds of stuff that I actually Google-d but found nothing. 

No, I do not need the self-help or good vibes (which I'm pretty sure they are high on something) kind of advice. I just need a real talk.

The thing is, I always have this kind of feeling but it usually comes solo, not five drama straight thrown into my face to be dealt in the next 72 hours. When those moments come, I'll be totally occupied with it and that is hard for me because I'm always either letting go or unbothered. When something clings onto me, it just feels so tiring. I'm always reminded of the problems, always feels how it is going to be bad and it usually involve other people so then I have to also think about other's thought about me.

There is this one thing that lasts for a good fucking year before I have the courage to even accept the idea of letting go but I'm still like 30% attached to it. 

I know why we need to let go or how overthinking won't help but I can't help these feeling. I'm not asking pity. I just want to say that, it's okay to not be spitting rainbows all the time and this will get better. 

Also, do anything that will let you feel better at times like this. Binging funny sappy fanfiction is your thing? Do it! But those can only help so much until you realize where the problem is. The solving of a problem can only be started by first identifying it. This is what I'm doing, well, at least what I'm trying to.

I just want this month to be over ASAP and continue lives a mundane life. 

2018 Favorite Self Care Thingy (Part Two)

Note to myself to not make a topic into several part because only God knows when I'll actually continue it.

(read Part One - HERE)

Just a heads up, I'm quite far behind for January's goal but still, I will write everything about it. I'm also still so in love with BTS only now I'm a bit bias wrecked toward baby Jungkook. He is 5 years younger than me OH MY GOD. This is so tiring.

By the way, the pictures used in this post will be from the internet cause I'm just too lazy to move the pictures from my phone. Any suggestion on good apps for transferring files from smartphone to laptop? I used ShareIt before but the apps flop after they changed the company.

Dr Ko's Dermax - Acne Therapy Solution Clarifying Treatment Gel
I just have to include Dr Ko's product. You can read my experience for my acne treatment at Dr Ko's clinic HERE. Out of all the product I have used, this one is my favorite. If you are prone to acne or simply want a good product when that occasional acne comes visiting, this is IT. It is RM99 but totally worth it. I still have mine left and that has been used for over a year. I only wear it when there is some small acne popping out which was just amazing because it usually clears out in one day. I've told about Aiken (here) which also works wonder but I'm sticking to this one since it works so well in deeper acne as well. It is my foolproof backup plan to prevent from further breakout y'alls.

Dr Ko's Dermax - Miracle C Powder
This is my other favourite from Dr Ko's clinic but it is damn expensive. One vial only contains 1.9g powder and cost RM150 but it works so well! It truly brightens my skin which not only fades out the acne scar but overall makes my skin looks so much healthier. Medicine and all those products to cure acne can only do so much for skin because its main purpose is the acne. I was left with dull skin and patches of scar which awesomely faded so much with only one vial. I was thinking to buy another one but changes my mind to get the "buy one free one" facial treatment instead. I'm quite satisfied with my skin now and was thinking to try face serum. By the way, any good suggestion for face serum? I've tried Nano White and The Ordinary but not liking it.

Good Virtues Co - Anti Dandruff Care Shampoo

The saga of my dry and brittle hair continues. I've noticed that shampooing my hair makes it so dry. Since I wore scarves the whole day, combined with the sweats, of course, it just feels "not clean enough" if I only washed it with water. Good Virtues Co product is so mild that I wasn't left with that horribly dried out afterwards. I still need to use the hair cream but this is such a major breakthrough for me.

Sheet Mask from Guardian

Since my acne has cleared out, I tried using sheet mask to pamper myself. What I didn't expect is how good my skin feel, all supple and hydrated, which last a good whole day. Even more amazing, I didn't have any reaction towards it and the sheet mask is so cheap. Only RM5 each! I come to use more often and even made it into my Secret Santa gift at work.

Blue Light Filter + Matte Tempered Glass 

that's not my phone. just fyi.

Some of my co-workers were actually amazed at my tempered glass? It is not like it is exactly amazing but the fact that a simple tempered glass is noticed by a few other peoples made me want to include it in the list. While I love a clear tempered glass to complement the brilliant colour that my phone screen provides (it is Redmi Note 5A) the fingerprints are bugging me so much. So when the shop assistant says "yeah we have it but it is the one with the blue light filter", I bought it right away even though it cost RM30 (I have a principle to not but a tempered glass cost more than RM10). People rarely use matte tempered glass especially with a blue light filter coating which does look a little something else.

and I'm done!

January To Do

I'm playing Sims mobile because I want to like understand what playing Sims feels like but this mobile is like so basic so I guess it is not a good plan but I'm determined to have my sims married. 

Besides playing Sims, there are plenty of things I want to do this month. However, this post is scheduled to post today (10th January 2019) because traffic and stuff since I just posted my 2019's resolutions a few days ago (but I actually wrote both posts on the same days, talk about inceptions).

Firstly, I dropped that "Roll On" before my post's titles. I'm not actually sure how that started but it feels stupid for 2019 so yeah, goodbye.

Secondly, I've just updated my Pinterest board. I love it so, so much.

Now let's get on to it.

life on track

  1. Two blog posts - list of poetry books I have and 2018 faves part two
  2. Spring Cleaning my blog's labels
  3. Do Hatyai's itinerary planning 
  4. Update 10 poems discussion for Instagram
  5. At least have 5 days with 5k steps
  6. At least have 5 days with 10k steps
  7. Choose two cause to donate monthly
  8. Hang out leisurely with friends (done)
  9. Read 30 pages of Midnight Monologues
  10. At least have two weeks of tracking calories (not necessarily be calorie deficit)
  11. Puasa for two days

That's it!