Roll On: No more Twitter for me.

That sounded quite dramatic isn't it?

Well, I don't know, maybe it was the boredom. Or the allure that some of my friends who were loudspoken on Twitter than on Facebook. We seems to easily let our life out on Twitter. I never thought I'd be one but I have. It felt so weird like weird weird kind of weird.

At first, thought it is good and okay thing. That it can be this record of my life. Or simply saying things out "loud". Something like to speak out and stuff. That it was normal. Everyone are doing it. The more I am involved, the further I come to realize that I start to have these moment and then i will be "i'm gonna tweet that".

The more I have these moments and the urge to tweet about it, the more it felt wrong.

We've been to lots of places as walid want us to see the world. Think local only okay? We're not that rich. Eheh.

We have never really been taking pictures. To think about it, walid never owns a camera although he do adventures. We settled down to this admiring places but rarely took any pictures  rhythm. Even with the simplicity of a smartphone.

But, everyone were doing it. Taking pictures and telling everyone about it. Some of my friends travel to places and even updates there and then. It felt like the natural thing to do when others were Like-ing it and saying things like "seronoknya" "nak pegi jugak" "you're so lucky" etc etc.

I took pictures. The beauty of places. The occasion of make do family photos. Candid. I have even took those look here we are and we are so happy worthy of a Facebook upload photo. That one however felt so wrong. Whatever the heck in my little heart and mind, it felt like a wrong thing to do. It does not feel natural. 

At first I thought that I have been raised not doing that. So it is just a thing I am not used to. The more I think about it, especially realizing how little photos we have before, but we are still so content is that the photos and the Likes and this updating everything was simply not something I need. I just have a very funny way to feel all wrong and it was simply me telling myself, you really don't need to do all of that.

It was so much work really. The need to take a good picture that I think people would like and at the same time showing the world this is how I see it but really it was they way I want you to see me. All the caption or no caption needed. The anticipation of people acknowledgement be it I don't really care but I would still be much affected anyway. Looking back at my Gallery and wondering these photos meant nothing. Looking back at the uploaded photo holding so much more behind it but is never going to be understood by others.

It wasn't me.

So I quit. I am not really giving myself out before. Only this Twitter thingy.

I do post my photo and random quotes because I like to challenge myself for good pictures (i like photography) and quote (i love words more !) and I like to share it. It is something I am passionate about. That were different. This is personal.

My memories and moments. All those things happened in my simple little life. That was all mine and mine alone.

I think i'm just going to be like no more hell bent on pictures and stuff. Only the important things. It wasn't really the pictures that matter. Most importantly it was never having to have this need that I need to share this to the world.

It was the magic in the adventure and the mutual understanding among those whose been there. The knowing of the paramount moments the places gives and the feelings we could share. It was the same joy we have felt and the silence promise to get more. It was really all the mind trick.


Just fyi, I am not deactivating my Twitter. It simply went back to its most primal duties.

Besides, i got my blog to pour my hearts out. Those word limitation in Twitter is ridiculous. 








Roll On: Random Pictures taken by a Redmi 2S

I have actually done a review comparing of Redmi 1S and Redmi 2S.

I have share some pictures taken by Redmi 1S and now I'm sharing some of the pictures I have taken by Redmi 2S.

Enjoy? or whatever.



Inside a Manhattan Fishmarket

Inside a dewan

A very sunny day 

Inside these food market at Jalan Raja Muda Abdul Aziz

Superwide lens selfie

we were selling pre-loved items to raise some fund. it was a great experience!

I don't know why this picture quality was so horrible. well, maybe because of the lighting on the stage was quite bad

our foster family house. it is so beautiful!

The lights at this side was not working. lol. this is my mak angkat during this program.

the only fourth year seniors joining this community outreach program at Johor.

A very sunny day, OMG. it was so hot. these was my teammates for that bottle plants project.


i am watching a Malay drama.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF.

i am just watching it because i need to actually watch it to say i hate it. and because i have lots of free time. it was so annoying-ly trending.

my friend told me to watch this third episode scene. so that was the deal, just until the third episode.


Roll On: Random Pictures taken by a Redmi 1S

Hey, this post gonna be just pictures taken by my smartphone, Le Redmi 1S.

I have done a review about my smartphone and compared it to Redmi 2S (click HERE)

Redmi 3S has been released though. mehh.

Open in new tab so you can see how clear the picture could be. Redmi 1S cost me RM300, just fyi. So don't put a bar up high.



using superwide lens

i don't think this is a good superwide lens though.

can you see the light in the sky (to which i point). we don't know wth is that. maybe genting?

visiting pharmaceutical company

as you can see, it could not get a decent picture of a moving subject. in this case, cute little jog. 

my coursemates. it's kind of family day event for our faculty

i was on a motorcycle (passenger). the BM one's was also not making any sense.

we lured them with bread crumbs!

Jabatan Kesihatan was crazy on fogging during the dengue fever break out.

there wasn't any filter used. it looks that way because i was taking the picture through a tinted glass on the other side of the building.

our little adventure for dinner. i miss these moments!

the newly done Masjid Kampung Baru.

The dreamy Fraser Hill

i was showing of the lipstick we tried on at Guardian before. eheh,

Le rugrats at a farm in Fraser Hill.

We were at IKEA and i wanted a grown-up scene picture. The handbag was covering the price tag. LOL.

First time trying their food.

Visiting Semenyih Eco Park

My study table at UKM. 



That is it!
Bye~

Roll On: Cikgu Afifah, LOL (the end)

It has been a week now in which I have stopped teaching. The final day was nothing much. All the classes have known   that I'm no longer teaching them. I told them few days before except for this one class which I forgot to tell.

"Cikgu last ajar esok"

Ahah.

Well, the kids have gotten used with substitute teacher to come and go. I was acting all macho as well. No sad farewell speeches. I just remind them to study for the upcoming final year exam.

One of the class has been requesting selfies for weeks so I got a farewell selfies with them only.

Omg. Am I doing farewell thingy wrong? I remember during our last day in UKM we were like, how do people do this farewell thing actually?

But i'll always treasure them. I just don't think they will realize that.

The teachers was so great. We have two teacher's room; both on different building and even different level. One were smaller which only got about 15 to 20 teacher. I was in that smaller room.

It was good since i'll be able to know them  better.

Funny thing is, they have two separate farewell party for me. I have to eat twice. They made a potluck so everyone were cooking. One of them was like,

"Dah berapa hari akk tak masak, harini akak masak utk afifah"

They are so so sooo nice.

I didn't get any present from the students though. *cough

So how was it?

A friend of mine was seriously asking me if i've changed my mine to go on teaching.
With how pharmacy's PRPship getting so hard to get, i actually consider it!

I never thought I would be a person who study other thing and work other thing. Especially something so specific like pharmacy. I don't want that to go to waste.

But i also know now how different work actually feel now. Well, the tip of the iceberg only but I saw and  I understand. Well, my parents were teacher and i've been a student forever now.

I also learn some bussines ventures thingy and my dad does have his own palm oil plantation.

Then there is this relative of mine doing bussiness of all sort while some were being simple clerk.

I learn bout how this pharmacy manager work for about 15+ years.

Lots more really.

I'm taking all of this in.

I am never going to push away those chances and oppurtunity simply because i've made pharmacy into a degree. Life is so much more than that. Getting a degree grant you even more in life and none of that mean to settle for one thing only.

With that I made a promise, i'll try to work into this pharmacy world. Specifically the industrial setting. For 3 years and see how it goes.

Lets conquer the world shall we?



Poem: What to do. What to do.


I am undone.
I am messy.
I am a ship without direction.
I am a ship with burden.
I am lost.
I got a degree back in my pocket.
Studies ought to give success.
What does success really is?
What to do. What to do.
I got a hope from each soul.
Expecting, knowing, I'll be a success.
A future already drawn.
What to do. What to do.
I got a heart burning passionately.
I want to hunt to conquer to live.
Grab a success that I carve on my own.
What to do. What to do.
I am lost.
A lost cause.
Drifting away.
Please grip me tight.
Raise me from this perdition.
Please.
I don't need a destination.
I just want courage.


Jared Padalecki height is 194cm. How does that even happen?

Roll On: Bloggeroid vs Blogger app

Hey! Assalammualaikum :)

It's kind of funny how here, in Malaysia, saying/texting hey to someone was actually sounded pretty rude. No one going to understand how endearing I felt it is.

Just say it softly, excited-ly and whole lot of glad to a person that you like.

I'm testing this Blogger app. Last time I use this thing, it was hopeless. I can't remember why though. I just remember that i've given it a few tries and it didn't work. Thus, I opted for Bloggeroid app. It is quite basic but does the job. However, this new and improved Blogger app was quite nice.

I like that I am able to bold words.
i can also italize now

Can't do that on Bloggeroid.

Bloggeroid interface was quite, well, hideous. It is basic really. When I want to add pictures, instead of showing the pictures, there was only this coding. While this fella interface was fine as heaven.
I like how professional it looks.

But, I can only like attach pictures but I can't specify where it is going to go. In Bloggeroid you can specify it.

Ohya Blogger app can insert link into text; like THIS but Bloggeroid can't. I think it can but I never use it but this Blogger app made it so easy to use.

It gets better. I can now review back my published post and my draft as well. It Bloggeroid, you type and post and thats it. It is so great because I always have typos and horrible-contruction-of-sentences.
So, there was only one downfall. I can work with that since i only use one picture per post nowadays.
I was hoping this Blogger app was the whole dashboard. Or at least I can check if there are comments need to be published which of course, RARELY HAPPEN.

Pfft.



Roll On: Hold me.

I've been betrayed. By those I love. It was tough. I do get passed it. I always do. But, even though time has numb the pain, I never really healed.

I've been scarred for life.

I think ones never really does feel betrayed if it's not from the ones you love. How fucked up is that huh?

The there is pain. The pain is excruciating and it left these holes. I don't know how to fill it. I don't know what to do with it. I don't trust anyone with it. I don't think no one can ever understand it.

I can't understand it either.

This despair that don't seem to end.
This stupid hope that was too hopeful.
This loneliness that just kills
This weakness of me that I can't breach it.

I want to be stronger. Not to be affected. Swaying life like a good strong soldier.

It does made me stronger isn't it? I am strong.

But sometimes, just sometime, this scar could bleed. I might as well be betrayed again. It scares me.

Can you understand that I can't be doing this again. No matter how strong i am i just can't.

Roll On: Cikgu Afifah, LOL (part 7)

I got to get something out of my brain and my soul. Get it moving.

I don't know what to do with my life. I always thougt that everything i would do must be pharmacy related but I got a taste of how these worlds might be. To compare it with the satisfaction I get from teaching, well, i can't compare it at all.

I know that in pharmacy I would be improving peoples health. Showing real difference. But it's routine. You got sick, i give care. It's a static relationship. But teaching was so much more and I have never felt this way before.

I never felt this much of pure passion. The rush and love. The care and joviality. I love it. It makes me actives and it put me into directions. Put me into perspectives.

I kinda understand now bout those that really wants to become teachers.

The important issue is that, i'm not teacher material. I mean the part of how I behave which need to be tone a bit to adjust into being a teacher. I realize how the students can test my patience but I can't grasp the sincerity NEEDED to surpass that. Some of the kids have been really disrespectful and I hated myself to not be able to see beyond it.

Not to mention that my approach is different with other teachers. I don't want to change this part of me though. I was so playful with the kids just the way i treated Nabila. Scolding them like shit on occasion and plays more. I understand how they are what they are. I think it is because our small age difference and that I can relate much with their world. The big part of this is that I am just that way. I just can't approach them the way these teachers are. It just felt weird.

Does my way better?

Heck, no. We will never know really. The truth is there is no one better way. At least that is how I see it. Each way work as they do. I never have any of my previous teachers doing what I do now. For all its worth, my approach right now may be all wrong. I ONLY TEACH FOR TWO MONTHS ONLY and during my last class, i throws these balled up papers because the students was chatting instead of working the exercise i given (i do not regret that).


Like that time, this one teacher was scolding the student for being rude to me but i didn't mind it at all because i know she was playing around. Or at least i thought she is. No one will ever know.

I don't even get my result transcript so that I can apply my PRPship. I should have done this like last month. I so fucked up.

I love you :)