Roll On: I am all bad things.

Dec 21, 2016

Please do not go through my archive, but I am 98% quite sure there is only one person I have ever made a birthday post for.

This is for Jiha and Nazihah and yeah, you guys always say your english was not your best game but I am of all bad things so this dedication is in English.


So, first of all, I am sorry for forgetting to wish your birthday.

I am of all bad things. To top that of, I do not really feel bad for some of the bad things. Like, for example, I do not really go the length to remember birthday date. Even though at last I actually remember the date of these two darlings, I was like, "ok harini 20hb yada yada" and someone wishes and I was like "ok hari yg 20hb ni mmg birthday nya jiha dan nazihah" and then it just triggered.

I remember the date (big yeah!) but do not actually realizing it (wth afifah, how even??).

Told you I am of all bad things.

Usually, I would not even be bothered much but this time, it is a bit different. I know how people always got touchy at stuff like this. For the bits that always want you guys (Jiha and Nazihah taw) to be happy and for the sore loser of me wanting to make you happy, I am sorry for not wishing. I could be giving you tonnes of reasons that I was sick and busy and all but then I thought, "This two things have been dealing patiently with me a lot, and they are actually really important to me, there is no reason in the world that could justify my action, it is just me"

I am so sorry babe, Happy belated birthday to the both of you. May Allah grant you rahmah in every crooks of your life and making you strong and patient for whatever challenge you may face. May Allah choses you to be one of the servant that He loved enough to be given jannah and may you guys always be my friend.

(ok yang last tu selfish)

Jiha and Nazihah has been quite a journey in my life. Funnily, Jiha started to be a big event in my life during my first year in UKM while Nazihah started on my last year in UKM. No, I am not kidding anyone here. It is the perfect beginning and a resolving conclusion.

What is crazier is that these two girls are of different personalities!

I do not read much but I always adores friendship shown in John Green's novel, especially in Paper Town (I did not watch the movie) and these two has somehow helped me to grasp the idea of those friendship. It teaches me a lot.

There is a lot to say but a very little word to express.

Jiha, I would say that we have a very rough but somehow rather stable relationship but truth be told, I am all open with you. I do not hide much things and said it all with you. Trust me when I say I thought a lot before telling anything to you and all of that is solely because I really care about you. I want you to not be in any rough patch and actually went about thinking how to be around you so that I can help you. Yeah, you do not really need my help but as the tittle of this post, I am all bad things and I just selfishly have to do it. I am wrong sometimes, and very harsh, I am sorry. I know I have hurts you dear and even if it is for the right reason, I am still very sorry. I never liked you to be hurt or angry with me. But for all those, I just want to say thank you so much. Thanks for every little adventures and mishaps we happen to enjoy together that I believe made available because I have you. You have made my university life even more meaningful and downright fun. Thanks abam.

Nazihah, I have a little confession, I never thought we could hit it off (maksudnya macam kita boleh jadi geng la) because seriously, I am not really keen to you before. No hard feeling eh, just that I thought that both of us are different. Rather predictably, once I got to know you better, I am actually true but surprisingly wrong about not to "hit off". You showed me to be bold in differences but at the same time to adapt for others just so. For that, I have been so comfortable with you. I have always want to finish my final year in a housemates kind of environment and truly it has come true because of you. Thanks for all the cooking adventures and trips with that little scooter. We bickers a lot and as the part of me being all bad things, Allah knows how sometime I just gave up with you but all good means babe. Everything come out great and surely that is magical itself. Thanks for showing me how to just be good and giving full effort and of course thanks for all sambal hitam and tempe and your mom's love. Thanks dear hajjah.

I am of all bad things. I have my darkness which somehow were more open with these two. Seriously speaking, you two have seen lots of my sides which I simply shut it off to some others. It is because I trust you two. I have hard time trusting people especially those to be called as friend so this is kind of a really big thing.

Thanks, dear Jiha and Nazihah.

When we meet again in the future, never mention to me about this confession or else I will tumbuk someone because damn this is very embarassing.